Being held comforted and soothed as infants is an essential part of healthy childhood development. We also need to see our feelings acknowledged and reflected back to us by a loving and attuned parent or caregiver.
Without this consistent and reliable care we don’t develop a sense of how our self works or how the world works.
It’s estimated that half the population don’t get these bedrock attachment needs met and the consequences are huge. Again and again we are overwhelmed by insecurity or simply find ourselves avoiding any form of honest intimacy altogether. It’s not unusual to be unable to understand our own emotions or feel genuine empathy.
This is a big deal because how we connect with others is fundamental to the quality of our life. Recovering addicts are often deeply aware of the deadly isolation of active addiction. Recovery involves the often painful sharing of our vulnerabilities with others that we are learning to trust. It can also involve allowing ourselves to care for others and develop the ability to be aware of their feelings.
It’s important to remember it not about what’s wrong with us but about what happened. When we come to understand the connection we’re able to address the issue with help from our friends and community.
We hope this video helps raise awareness of this crucial topic. We’re working on Attachment 201 which will deal with how to recover from the damage done by poor attachment.
There’s much more in store so stay tuned : )